Hello Bookish Buddies! Welcome to my Camp NaNo update! I’m sorry I haven’t been posting as much recently, I’ve been so terribly
getting sucked into the downward spiral of sims addiction busy. I have no idea how to do one of these, so I’m just going to wing it.
Let’s start with a piece of good news! I figured out what my story is going to be about! Obviously, since it’s more than half way into April. It is a dark contemporary about suicide, grief, and depression that is to be told in chapters alternating between letters and third person objective narrative. Since third person objective is so rarely seen in YA (because it is incredibly difficult to execute well. Not that I’m going to be able to, but I’m going to give it a try), I thought it would be cool to tell my story that way!
I haven’t written a synopsis, but I have a temporary title for it. I don’t know if I’ll use it or not, but as of now, I am calling it Epitaphs. Basically, the premise is after the suicide of their friend, Alexx, two teenagers start communicating by leaving little notes and drawings by her grave when they visit. I know that sounds stupid, but it’s better in my head. Incase you wanted to read some of it, I have a
very short excerpt from one of the letters:
If I were to join you, Alexx, in, as John Green would put it, “the great perhaps,” I wonder who my pain would be passed to. I know you passed yours to me. I know you also passed it to at least one other person. But since you left, I’ve been questioning things. Who would take on my burden when I passed? I’ll never know, because either I won’t die just yet, or I won’t live to see it.
I wonder if you thought about this very question before you took your life. I wonder if you thought about who your absence would effect. I wonder why you took your life if you knew others would feel your burden. I wonder if you did know others would feel your burden. I wonder if there was anything I could have done to sway you. I’ll never know.
Did you think about how I would have to live with the weight of not knowing? There was so much I didn’t know about you, didn’t know about us, when you were alive. I thought it was unbearable then. I miss feeling like that. Because memories of feeling like you were distant feels like a pinprick next to the sword through my chest.
As of now, I’m only really working on the letters and I’m going to write the narrative after I’ve gotten them all done and edited. My goal is 12,000 words and I’ve got a little over 3,000 done. I’m kinda not worried about that though. I’m just happy that I’m able to start a long term writing project after my couple years of not writing anything.